High-End
Battle of the Moisturizers: Contestant #5 Josie Maran – 100 percent Pure Argan Oil Light
“So… you’re telling me to put straight up oil on my face.”
“Yes.”
“To use oil to moisturize my already oily face.”
“Yes.”
“And there’s nothing in it but Argan oil… and its almost $30 an ounce?”
“Well, they call it ‘liquid gold.’ Its a miracle oil.”
Oh Jesus Christ, here we go…
Josie Maran 100 percent Pure Argan Oil Light
“A featherweight version of the world champion of oils, 100% Pure Argan Oil Light moisturizes deeply and absorbs quickly, leaving a semi-matte finish. Produced by Moroccan women’s co-ops, this top-grade Argan Oil is extracted from the nut of the argan tree, then first-cold-pressed to protect its healthy, hydrating properties. Wear it under makeup or instead of makeup, and fear not if your skin is oily. This must-have oil actually reduces sebum production, so it is ideal for all skin types, especially breakout-prone and sensitive..”
Cost = $48 US
Size = 1.7 fl oz
Extended cost (Cost / Size) = $28.23/oz
Estimated cost per application = *??
*I wasn’t really able to accurately estimate how much of the product I was using per application, so unfortunately I am unable to provide an estimated cost per application.
I am instantly suspicious of any product advertised alongside words like “miracle.” That is such an awful word to use in advertising, and 9.9 times out of 10 there is absolutely no miracle present in the product it describes. But is there any miracle to be found in this argan oil stuff? Lets talk about that.
Firstly, this is the “light” version of Josie Maran’s %100 Argan Oil product. Its light because instead of
containing straight up argan oil, it is made up of Natural Argan Isostearylic Esters. I am not even going to try to explain what those are. I play Destiny with a good doctor friend of mine who’s a Pharmacist and he tried to explain to me what Esters are for almost 3 hours while we killed aliens and I got nothing for you. It has to do with carbons and chemistry and how oxygen likes to hold hands with things… and that’s all I have to say about that.
According to Josie Maran, “Argan Light is lighter in texture and in color, and it absorbs even faster, and it leaves a semi-matte finish. 100% Pure Argan Oil Light is made from one ingredient: 100% Pure Argan Oil.” But what the heck is this argan oil?

So Argan oil is whats pressed from the teeny, hard-to-get kernel of the fruit that grows on the Argan tree. These trees are endemic to Algeria and Morocco where goats like to climb all over them to eat the nut things. And now you know why I drew little goats on the main picture.
The Argan tree was actually endangered up until everyone in the US decided this oil what the bees knees (which is more than we can say for the bees). Western demand has spurred a real comeback for these trees and the Moroccan government has planted thousands of them and set up co-ops for people to work the orchards.
These trees are kind of divas to work with. Firstly, they ONLY grow in very specific desert-y climates. Secondly, they don’t start to produce fruit until they’re about 15 years old. And thirdly, no one has been able to develop a mechanized process to crack the shell of the nut and extract the kernel. This part of the process still has to happen by hand and this is where the women’s co-ops come in. Dozens of women sit together singing, chatting, and cracking these nuts open by hand. Sounds like a party to me.

Many of the co-ops that produce argan oil are exclusively for women. This is awesome because in the strictly patriarchal society in Morocco, the co-ops provide these women with a “steady income, a fair wage, decent working conditions, and literacy and other education classes that give them freedom and options in a traditionally male-dominated society.” According to their website, Josie Maran Cosmetics sources all of their Argan oil from women’s co-ops in Morocco. Claims of this “miracle” oil aside, that is awesome. If this product really worked for me and I liked it, I would have no qualms paying $30/oz IF I could be sure that a fair share of that price were going to those women’s co-ops. As it were, I wasn’t able to find any info on if the argan oil is also fair trade.
So this stuff really is just an oily liquid you put straight on your face. While testing it out I couldn’t help but think of the women I’ve heard about who use straight up olive oil as a facial moisturizer. That seemed weird to me because in my mind olive oil is a food – but so is argan oil. In Morocco you traditionally dip bread in argan oil and eat that for breakfast (you know, like at Carrabba’s). I also read about a spread you put on bread made of argan oil, almonds, and honey. Its called Amlou and it sounds delicious.
Its also good for you – Researchers have concluded that daily consumption of argan oil can help prevent various cancers, cardiovascular diseases, and obesity. I need some Amlou, stat.
In Conclusion…
All the interesting facts aside – did it work?
No. It did not work for me. It could work for you, but my skin was having none of it.
I found it a little difficult to apply because I was literally using a little dropper and dripping oil onto my fingers, it was also hard to apply because my skin literally ate this stuff. It absorbed so fast I couldn’t spread it around very well. Within a day or two I started getting painful, deep-down pimples on the oilier parts of my combination face. I also noticed that 8 hours or so after applying the product, my whole face was extremely greasy.
I also read that it could be used as a leave-in conditioner for your hair and an oil for your cuticles. It made my hair way to greasy and my cuticles too dry for some reason? I don’t even know.
My guess is this may work really well for some people, but I just don’t have the proper Mediterranean genes for this to work for me. I am way to Scandinavian for this.
Sources
http://www.cosmeticsandtoiletries.com/
http://swiftcraftymonkey.blogspot.com/
Is the New Josie Maran Argan Oil Light Better than the Original?
$30 Cocoon Lip Stain Peel Vs. Kool-Aid Concoction
I have always preferred lip stains to lip gloss and lip stick for practical reasons. It wont smudge or smear everywhere if I forget i’m wearing it and wipe my mouth with my sleeve (ya know, like a lady), it doesn’t bleed all over my face, and it doesn’t need to be re-applied post-burrito. I can appreciate that. Not to mention I feel like it looks more natural -like I was born with flushed, rosy lips, thank you very much. I am also a pretty big fan of unusual products, ones with strange ingredients or unorthodox methods of application. So I was super excited when I found this guy – a lip stain with an unconventional twist? Score.
Cailyn Cosmetics Cocoon Lip Stain, Pink Desire
I saw a demo of this product done by Bunny A.K.A Grav3yardgirl and I thought it was so weird, I just had to try it. You can watch her demo here.
This stuff is a lip stain with a texture very similar to that of the gel candies you can get in those squeezy tubes (my favorite was sour apple). You brush it on your lips and wait 10 minutes, it acts like one of those peel-off face masks in that it dries and you then peel it off, leaving behind a stain with “10 hour staying power.”
At $22 from the Cailyn Cosmetics website and $26 on Amazon, its a tad pricey. The Orange color seemed to work pretty well for Bunny, so I had high hopes for myself. Its supposed to come with it’s own little brush, but mine did not so I used a regular lipstick brush.
Oh my god, it was so weird. I brushed it on as precisely as I could and then stood there for 10 minutes while the goo cured on my face. Protip: keep your mouth open while it dries so your lips don’t stick together. As you can see on the right, I wasn’t too enthralled with the result.
Really $25 lip stain? Really? Not impressed. I’ve drank cups of Kool-Aid that cost $0.20 that stained my mouth better than this stuff…
And that’s when it hit me… Kool-Aid! As countless after-school care Latchkey kids and their unfortunate laundry-doing parents know – NOTHING stains like Kool-Aid! People dye their hair, fabric, and yarn with Kool-Aid! I had seen people on Pinterest melt lip balms in the microwave and mix Kool-Aid in to add some tint, hell even I saw some people straight up rub the powder on their lips (eww). But I had something better in mind, I would create a Kool-Aid lip stain masque to challenge the likes of Cailyn Cosmetics in a side-by-side, lip to lip battle! And with that, I gathered my weapons.
I really just guessed on the ingredients, I didn’t want to just melt down another lip balm and mix – that has been done before and I wasn’t really going for a balm. I wanted to create a masque that would go on thick, stay put, and stain to my hearts content until I wiped or licked it off. I figured coconut oil because its relatively solid at room temperature, so it would spread thick and moisturize, almond oil in case the coconut oil was too thick, and sugar because I might want it to double as a scrub (and this was unsweetened Kool-Aid, so I didn’t want it to taste gross).
I went to Target and found a set of TSA approved travel containers that came with two little lip-balm sized pots to put my creation in. I sanitized it first by washing it and then wiping the inside with rubbing alcohol.
As any Knitter, painter, or crafts-person in general knows – when in doubt, swatch it out. To test out what colors I had to work with I sprinkled a little powder of each on a paper towel and added a couple of drops of water to see what the colors diffused into. I couldn’t really tell a difference between Cheery and Tropical Punch, the picture may not show it, but it seemed like Tropical Punch was a tad more orangy-red. Grape mostly diffused as blue and it wasn’t until I added more water that the reddish part came out and made it look a little…purple brown? I decided to stick with Cherry and Tropical Punch and save the grape for another time.
I definitely did not steal this little ramekin from Chili’s, how dare you even think that.
I mixed the Tropical Punch and the Cherry together and added about 2 teaspoons of it, a tablespoon of coconut oil, a dash of Almond oil, and a sprinkle of sugar to this thing and put it in the microwave for 8-10 seconds to melt the oils and give me an even consistency.
And the 1st try is definitely a fail.
Oil gets very hot, it headed up the sugar. You know what happens when sugar gets hot? It melts and doesn’t mix with oil. So I made a lump of cherry punch candy that wouldn’t work as a lip masque, but stained the ever-living Christ out of everything it touched.
At least I was on the right track.
I quickly decided to 86 the sugar. If I wanted this to work as a stain, adding an exfoliant was a dumb idea. You would just end up exfoliating off the skin that was just stained. No bueno.
I also noticed that oil doesn’t dissolve the Kool-Aid mix, which meant I wasn’t really getting an effective color payoff. So I first diluted it in a little dash of water before adding the coconut and almond oil. I zapped it for about 8 seconds in the microwave to completely melt the coconut oil and give me a smooth consistency, then sat the ramekin in a bowl of salted Ice water and stirred constantly until the oil re-solidified.
And Voila! A soft mass of highly-pigmented coconut-almond oil ready for packaging and testing.
I even got super creative with the little pot I put it in. Someone call Sephora, I have a new product to pitch.
To make myself look extra ridiculous, I drew a fancy line with some black eyeliner right down the middle of my face after carefully applying the two products to half of my lips. I then set a timer for 10 minutes and let them do their thing.
And here is the immediate result, with the Cailyn Cocoon on the left and my Kool-Aid concoction on the right. The Cocoon is definitely more of a pink shade whereas I went more red with the Kool-Aid. I could definitely see more pigmentation with the Kool-Aid side, but both sides felt very moisturized.
I’ll tell you what though, the Kool-Aid tasted absolutely HORRIBLE. That side of my mouth was so awkward and sour and kind of tingly? I don’t really want to add sugar, but mayhaps I could add some Splenda? Though I am not sure how that may effect the consistency.
So this is how dedicated I am to beauty science. I went out to dinner with my boyfriend like this, with two different colored lips. I took this picture on the left once I stepped outside because he noted that in the different light you could especially tell the difference.
So. Fabulous. Starting a new trend.
In Conclusion
And this was the result about 6 hours later. I totally feel like I win on this one. The red Kool-Aid side is still pretty red, whereas the pink Cocoon side is basically flesh colored at this point. Mind you this was 6 hours, a cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate malt later.
I WIN! I AM FABULOUS!
I don’t mean to toot own horn here, but I am very pleased. I might even actually use my Kool-Aid concoction again. Its an effective stain in a flattering red color and is very nourishing, I just gotta work on the flavor of it. That was the only gross part.
Sorry Cocoon lip stain, you’ve been upstaged.
P.S. – No joke, this stuff stains everything.
Battle of the Moisturizers: Contestant #3 Kate Somerville – Oil Free Moisturizer
Now that I am a couple months and a few test subjects into this adventure, I can safely say that I have thoroughly confused the skin on my face. Diplomatic relations are not at a good place right now, and my pores are angrier than a white chick in a Starbucks that just ran out of pumpkin spice. The situation on my chin is particularly dire.
The first two contestants were kind of weird, neither of them were really meant to treat acne and they were both geared more towards anti-aging and a whole bunch of other… bull crap, ok? It was all bull crap. I was really hoping that this next contestant would bring some order to this chaos, some balance to the situation, some pumpkin spice lattes to these crazy bit*hes. Lets see how we did…
Kate Somerville – Oil Free Moisturizer
“Oil Free Moisturizer absorbs quickly to provide perfectly balanced hydration and moisturization, without any oils. Formulated without parabens or fragrances, this lightweight cream leaves nothing behind but smooth, supple skin.”
Size = 1.7 fl oz
Extended cost (Cost / Size) = $38/oz
Estimated cost per application = $1.14
Holy crap, its almost half the price of Gorgeous per ounce. She’s already scoring points with me. Though I still cringe at the $1.14/application price tag. This product is quite a bit thinner than other contestants so far and I felt like I had to use more of it, so I amp-ed up the application size to 0.04 oz. It does come in a fancy new pump-top bottle, but I found it frustrating after a while of fiddling with it, you had to pump it and then smear your fingers all over the top to get it all.
The Kate Somerville website and the Sephora website said different things about this moisturizer. Here’s what the Kate website said:
- Essential Amino Acid Derivatives are designed to diminish the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles
- Red Marine Algae improves the look of firmness and elasticity
- Algae-Based Tighteners are formulated to tone and tighten
- Oil-Absorbing Spheres balance oily skin for a shine-free look
And here’s what Sephora said:
- Pepha®- Tight: Diminishes the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
- Red Marine Algae: Helps improve elasticity.
- Sepilift™: Firms and smooths.
- Sugar-based moisturizers: Assist in limiting water loss.
Aaaaaahhhhh, here it goes…
“Essential Amino Acid Derivatives are designed to diminish the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles”- Two words – Dipalmitoyl Hydroxyproline, A.K.A. DPHP, Skinlift, and Lipump. Has been shown to improve wrinkles by stimulating the “synthesis of collagen fibers.” Oddly enough, this guy is mostly used for lip plumping.

“Oil-Absorbing Spheres balance oily skin for a shine-free look”- I’m sorry, what? Oil-Absorbing Spheres? WHAT THE FU*K IS THAT?! The ingredient list doesn’t say anything about oil-absorbing spheres. Do you know what I found when I googled “Oil-Absorbing Spheres?” The Scum-Ball Pool Water Clarifier, you can get a pack of 2 for $13!
“Pepha®- Tight: Diminishes the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.”, “Red Marine Algae: Helps improve elasticity.”, “Algae-Based Tighteners are formulated to tone and tighten”, “Red Marine Algae improves the look of firmness and elasticity”- Ugh, Algae again. All these claims are referring to the same ingredient – “Algae extract.” Pepha-Tight is algae extract from Nannochloropsis oculata and pullulan, its got polysaccharides, amino acids, Vitamin C, and Vitamin B12 and it may be legit for what this moisturizer says it does. Polysaccharides help with inflamation, Vitamin C is also anti-inflammatory and Amino Acids can stimulate collagen formation, lighten skin, treat hyperpigmentation, and heal wounds. Amino Acids can also moisturize without oil – Voila – Oil-free moisturizer.
“Sepilift™: Firms and smooths.”- This is just DPHP again. Gotta get that Lip-plumping action on your face!
“Sugar-based moisturizers: Assist in limiting water loss.”- Okay, this is actually kind of funny. This moisturizer contains Xylitol and you’ll know what that is if you’re a diabetic. Xylitol is a healthy sugar alternative for diabetics and is used commonly as a sugar substitute in “sugar-free” chewing gum and other candies. As a medicine, Xylitol is used to prevent middle ear infections. Its used as a flavoring agent in oral-care products, it has plaque reducing properties and is also used in cosmetics as a humectant (moisturizer). This stuff is like the platypus of sugar alcohols. It is thought to help the skin retain its natural moisture and boost levels of hyaluronic acid, a natural lubricant that assists in collagen production, but I didn’t find too much about that. All I could really confirm was that it was a thickener and a slip agent.
In Conclusion…
I am so disappoint Kate Somerville – and the spelling of your last name is infuriating me. If you’re going to make claims about your product, at least give me some kind of hint at what you’re referring to. Oil-Absorbing Spheres? To me that just says that you think your consumer will swallow everything you shove down their throat without question. When I research these products, I break them down and go ingredient-by-ingredient. Its not rocket surgery, everyone knows how to google. You’re trying to appeal to a populous of people who literally have all of the information on everything ever at their fingertips, don’t boast about something you can’t back up. And If I somehow missed something on your magical Oil-Absorbing spheres of wonder, please enlighten me. But if its algae-related I am going to rip my face off.
I realize I say very little about my actual experience with the product, but I get so excited about researching the claims and ingredients. I Actually liked it a bit at first, I felt as though it was mattefying and evened out my tone. But as the days moved on I still had oiliness in all the usual places and I felt my pores were slightly more clogged than usual. By the end I was so glad to toss this sample and start testing a new moisturizer. I couldn’t find a good balance with this product, I was either not using enough and my face felt dry and tight, or I used too much and I was all slimy. I would say the difference between the two was less than 1/8th of a smidgen. No thank you.

Sources
http://www.cosmeticsandtoiletries.com/
Battle of the Moisturizers: Contestant #2 Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare – Hydra-Pure® Oil-Free Moisture with Chelating Complex
Unlike our dearly departed previous contestant, the Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare Hydra-Pure® Oil-Free Moisture with Chelating Complex (holy crap, long name) was suggested to be by HAL 9000 the Sephora Skincare IQ machine. I have never heard of this brand before and I was immediately skeptical as soon as I saw the price.
But Marina, you said the point was to find a moisturizer that cost LESS than LUSH’s Gorgeous! Why even bother trying this one?
I am really interested in finding something that costs less than $60 an ounce, and I am also looking to find something that could possibly work way better than what I have been using. But most of all, I want to test out the high-end, uber expensive products that make aggrandized claims and see if they really are better than what you can buy at CVS for $5. And THIS GUY is definitely one of those fancy shmancy products I want to run through the gambit. Lets get started –
Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare – Hydra-Pure® Oil-Free Moisture with Chelating Complex
Cost = $78 US
Size = 1 fl oz
Extended cost (Cost / Size) = $78/oz
Estimated cost per application = $1.56
I used the same application amount estimate I did with the Fresh – Rose Hydrating Gel Cream because the consistency and feel of the two were relatively similar, which means this guy evens out to a whopping $1.56 an application. Holy heart-failure, Batman! I better be impressed. You know there are 514,063 things on Etsy that you can buy for $1.56 or less? A 90’s grunge choker, 1g of organic shea butter, a Kanye West Pin! I actually think i’d rather moisturize my face than have that last one.
So I didn’t really see what about this product constitutes it as “Hydra-Pure?” The first ingredient is water… so there’s that…But thats not really the headline. The big selling point for this guy is it’s “Chelating Complex.” Don’t be dazzled by strange words, kids. Lets talk about Chelation.
What the heck is Chelation?
Pronounced key-LAY-shun, its one way ions or molecules bind to metal ions. Dont worry if you don’t remember from high school chemistry what ions and molecules are, that part doesn’t really matter. What matters is these chelating ions and molecules are kind of like Pac-Man, and they like to chomp down on cherries… or metal ions.

So when Mrs. Pac-Man chomps down on the metal ion, it is rendered chemically inert and will no longer interact with your body. Now, Chelators are SUPER important, and not just for removing those hard-water stains from your shower (no joke, that’s one of the things they’re used for), they’re also key in curing heavy metal intoxication. I’m talking about arsenic, mercury, and lead poisoning. But thats not what we’re talking about with this product – the Chelators here are being used for, among other things (cough-preservatives-cough), neutralizing the “damage” hard water may be doing to your face. We’re talking about the calcium and magnesium that seeps in from old pipes and deposits in the ground that give 85% of homes in the USA what is refered to as “hard water.” Heres a full list of what this product claims to do:
- Softens hard water and removes heavy metals that antioxidants cannot
- Combats free radical damage
- Decreases redness and irritation
- Eradicates dull skin
- Eliminates waxy plugs/blackheads
- Cures the oil chemistry disorder that leads to acne and clogged pores
- Improves penetration of active ingredients
- Allows trace minerals beneficial to the skin to be absorbed
- Dual-mechanism, lightweight moisturizer provides immediate and long-term hydration
You guys know the drill, lets take this one by one –
“Softens hard water and removes heavy metals that antioxidants cannot”- This bit was news to me, I had heard of hard water making your hair gross, and that’s why they make shower heads with water filters in them, but I’d never thought of what it’d do to your skin. I did some googling and came across this article from SELF magazine. Holy cannoli! Its all right here! The acne, how the minerals clog pores, the irritation, everything this moisturizer claims to do! And they’re even getting their info from a real doctor, Dr. Dennis-… Wait a minute. “Dr. Dennis Gross, Manhattan dermatologist and founder of the Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare product line.” But can you blame the guy? Hes just trying to sell his expensive stuff – its the American dream.
I am leaning towards calling bullsh*t on this claim that Chelators can do so many amazing things for your skin. According to Cosmetics and Toiletries Magazine “Chelators are used in almost every personal care formulation type to increase effectiveness and improve stability, thereby improving consumer acceptance. In addition, they have demonstrated the ability to boost preservative activity. Chelators are used in liquid soap and body wash to prevent fragrance and color degradation and for their synergistic effect with antimicrobials. They are also incorporated into bar soap to prevent rancidity, softening, brown-spotting, cracking and discoloration due to metal ions, as well as to enhance foaming and rinsability.” Chelators are everywhere, and the ones in this moisturizer aren’t that special. Not to mention, how effective can they be when they’re in a moisturizer? You’ve already washed and dried your face and the oils in your skin are hard at work neutralizing metal ions on their own. Thats right, thats what they’re there for.
(I’ll get off my soapbox now, no pun intended, the rest of this will be quick, I promise)
“Combats free radical damage” – This is what antioxidants do, and this product does have a lot of very effective ones. Free radical damage basically means oxidation (its when a molecule loses an electron and becomes unstable, Antioxidants have electrons to spare and donate them – but that’s a WHOLE ‘nother post). But one of the antioxidants is soy isoflavones – which means don’t use this moisturizer if you’re allergic to soy.
“Decreases redness and irritation” – This Is another claim of Dr. Gross’, (this guy must have been made fun of when he was a kid) said reddness and irritation is allegedly caused by the soap scum on your face. File this under “meh… mabey.”
“Eradicates dull skin” – I’m sure you guys remember our friend Tetrasodium EDTA from the Fresh – Rose Hydrating Gel Cream, well guess who is back and is also a chelator? For those of you yet to catch up, Tetrasodium EDTA “reversably” damages the top layers of your skin so whatever its mixed with can absorb better. The internet hates this stuff, but i’m on the fence.
“Eliminates waxy plugs/blackheads” – Oh boy, chelators are soooo fancy! They can also do your taxes and walk your dog!
“Cures the oil chemistry disorder that leads to acne and clogged pores” – “Ugh, chelators, chelators, chelators!”
“Improves penetration of active ingredients” – (cough-Tetrasodium EDTA – Cough)
“Allows trace minerals beneficial to the skin to be absorbed” – Yawn, this guy is just going on about the same ingredients..
“Dual-mechanism, lightweight moisturizer provides immediate and long-term hydration” – I don’t really know what Doc is on about with this one, but I will say that this product has a lot of skin conditioning ingredients. I mean A LOT! At least twice what the Fresh – Rose Hydrating Gel Cream had. Maybe that’s the “long term hydration?” I don’t even know anymore.
In Conclusion…
I know it really sounds like I’m hating on this moisturizer, but the truth is i’m being skeptical because I REALLY want to believe all the things its claiming to do. I think a lot of it make sense theoretically, but I have a hard time accepting a product that claims to do so many things without solid scientific studies to back it up, even if the product is made by a licensed dermatologist. Like my homeboy Justin and homegirl Sydnee say on their podcast Sawbones “Cure-alls cure NOTHING!” (p.s., if you’re not listening to Sawbones, we can’t be friends)
I do have relatively hard water and I didn’t see anything miraculous while using this product, but I believe a 5 day trial-run sample wasn’t enough to see any improvement. I feel like if there are benefits to what Dr. Gross is selling, they’re best seen in the long-run. Unfortunately $78 a bottle is out of the question for long-run use for me. Sorry Doc.
New Contestants!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Dior’s Capture Totale Dreamskin has entered the building! I decided to test this one out after seeing Bunny a.k.a Grav3yardgirl talk about it on her YouTube channel. I love that chick, but I wanna see for myself If I can really get me some dreamskin, and at $115 a bottle I am ready for some serious testing.
We do have another candidate hiding out, but hes a secret that will be revealed in a haul coming very soon, I promise! BE EXCITED!
Sources













